The Downward Spiral
by Priss5
Summary: Request - A look at paranoid Shepard


The waive of uneasiness seemed to settle in permitly when she entered the ship for the first time. She couldn't help but notice so little allies on a ship full of spies. The AI didn't help, neither did the cheerful Yeomen, she only served to exasperate the problem. Sleeping was difficult not only the nightmares of suffocation and vacuum exposure but she could never shake the feeling of being watched. She tried to tell herself it was because EDI had a hub station right near her doorway and she was just being paranoid most nights it didn't work.

" So what do you do on the ship," She asked putting as much forced normalcy into her voice as possible. She distrusted the AI with a passion it didn't help the computer knew about the moon base and the numerous geth stations she went up against. The fact she was talking to it at all was like pulling teeth.

" Beyond monitoring the ship I also manage all on board communications." EDI replied

" What type of monitoring?" She asked warily.

" I monitor all parts of the ship." Came the reply.,

" Like spyware."

The AI was suspiciously quiet.

" Where?" She asked more forcefully.

" I have a block that prevents me from answering that." She quickly turned and walked way her blue eyes going red with cybernetic fire. Here it was confirmation of what she feared she always thought Miranda was spying on her via her emails now it turned out, it was worse an AI with ship wide spy ware combined with Miranda's 24 hour snooping she wanted to hit someone, namely Miranda, instead she retired to her room. She had to hide it, she was the leader real or not of this crew and damn it she would not assault one of them no matter how much they grated on her. She dug her nails into her blonde hair it hurt…she had to regain control she had to figure out a way to push through this.

Obsessing with her work seemed to be the only cure. Ground missions became her shield she didn't have to think about the spyware, Miranda, or whoever else might be watching, listening to her every moment of the day. During missions it was easy, simple, bloody, all she had to do was rip people full of holes she'd imagine most of them as any number of the crewmen or TIM their screams became satisfying but only a temporary high could ever result once onboard she had to reface them all.

" Commander, I'm concerned about you. EDI says you've not been sleeping and are continuously stressed," It took all her power to fix the perfect brunette with an even stare.

" There's nothing for you to be concerned about," She said trying to keep the disdain for the woman out of her voice, " If there's nothing you need Miranda I'm busy."

" Yes, well if you need to talk to me or Kelly I suggest you do that." The woman said leaving the room.

Spies every last one of them.

Months passed Garrus and Tali where finally on board much to her joy but the people she pulled on board where not the same she knew it quickly served to remind her of all she lost. She was angry she wanted the collectors to pay for what they took from her; she wanted TIM to pay for bringing her back.

Helping Miranda was one of the hardest pills she had to swallow the whole time she wished the cheerleader would catch a stray bullet….it didn't turned out like she hoped. Even seeing her twin Oriana almost made her want to puke just what the world needed another Miranda. Further confirmation was leaked via a thankyou to her by none other then the slightly younger clone.

' By the way sis stop reading the Commander's emails!' the P.S. at the bottom happily admonished. The rest of the day blanked out after that…all she saw was red.

The last straw came when she was almost killed by a double-crossing TIM who worked with the reapers to trap her on that ship.

" You son of a bitch!" She screamed to the man a million miles away as he sat smoking his cigarette in his secure dark room lit by an eerie dying star. The star raged like she felt.

" I only did it to test you Shepard. I knew you could handle it." Came his unfazed reply.

" Bullshit all you've ever wanted to do was destroy me sense I woke up!" She accused.

" Why would I want to destroy my investment Shepard?" to her he sounded like he was mocking her but he always talked that way right?

" I know about the chip you wanted in me. Couldn't do it eh? I'm not as controllable as you think I am you can have all the spyware you want and your precious Miranda sift through all my transmissions but you don't own me." She was too fuming to hear his response. The next thing she knew she was in Miranda's office fist slamming onto her desk the look on her face was priceless though it was quickly covered up.

" So where are they Miranda," She seethed.

" Where's what?" Came the cool reply.

She was not in the mood for games She glowed bright and flung Miranda into her room lifting her off the ground before the woman could recover, " You're all a bunch of spies, where are the devices I want to know now or I'll break you in half." To emphasize her point she began to increase the pressure inside the field.

" You've been a loose cannon for sometime Shepard. I've seen the signs don't think we don't have a contingency plan." Miranda warned.

" I'm sure your contingency plan doesn't include you dieing. Now tell me. I want them all gone all monitors all bugs gone."

" Put her down Shepard," Came the low voice of Jacob she didn't need to turn around to know he had a gun to her head.

" Don't think I can't take you down," She warned to the man behind her, " Last chance." She said her red eyes never leaving the woman's brown.

" For the both of us," Miranda unflinchingly stated the pressure was mounting even for her engineered frame.

" You're paranoid Shepard, I don't know exactly what you think is happening here but it's nothing like that, you can trust us." Jacob's voice pleaded.

" Trust a ship full of spies," She retorted still starring at the confined woman, " Where are they?…Now."

The response the woman gave detonated the fire inside her with a simple shake of brown locks her rage exploded and so did the operative's bones the snap coming as a sickening chorus and the bang of the shot shortly after in a moment it was all over and two dead bodies lay on the ground.


End file.
